... FINE DAD. I'm Dai, Dai Goroh. Yes, the son of THAT Goroh, who invented pretty much everything awesome. And yes, awesome does run in the family.
Anyway, while I was doing recon wandering around campus, I noticed tons of you lot have these mother things. And these mother things send you PRESENTS unlike stupid lame godfathers. JUST ONE PRESENT. IT WOULDN'T HAVE KILLED YOU. And COOKIES. LOTS OF COOKIES.
So I decided to offer the chance for one of you lot to join the Goroh family as my mother-thing! I'll be holding auditions for this role all week. Ideally, applicants for this position should possess at least one quality or skill from the list below, but anyone can apply.
Dai's list of desirable woman-thing qualities:
*Fleshbags! Apparently Pop likes looking at them? Perhaps this would save her from the cannon
*Ability to summon cookies from nowhere!
*And milk, too!
*Awesome at racing!
*An unlimited supply of markers!
*Fond of RANDOMLY YELLING.
*A sword. Maybe a whole ROOM of swords.
*The ability to break wind on command. This is VERY important in the Goroh household!
*Command codes for the school security system
*A pantry thing filled with cheese wiz.
*An arm made out of guns. Maybe a leg, too.
*A pet dinosaur.
Again, if you feel you have a desirable quality or skill that wasn't listed, feel free to show up anyway! The more applicants we get, the better chances my pops won't shoot you out of a cannon will like you! Once at the audition I'll hand you a short questionnaire to fill out, and from those questionnaire's I'll create a pool of candidates for my dad. And then the winner gets to join the Goroh family! Even though I haven't run this by dad. BUT I MAKE MY OWN RULES.
Anyone who comes and fills out the questionnaire gets CANDY. And whatever stuff I can steal from under the old man's nose.